For work these days, I find myself traveling a lot. My cousin, Loretta, comments on Facebook that I have a jet-set lifestyle but the following is a true story of the traveling life.
After finishing my training in Indy, the plan was for me to fly from Indy to Chicago and from Chicago to GSP last night and land around 11:00 PM and I was to show up at work this morning. But alas, the best laid plans of mice and men… often get screwed up when airlines are involved.
At any rate, United Airlines, dispatched the flight from Chicago to Indy late. Which means my flight from Indy to Chicago (on the same late plane) left even later. Not to fear, it would be close, but if I ran, I would be able to make my flight. Unfortunately, when we landed at O’Hare, the jet way was broken and we had to wait for the “Safety Crew” to arrive to escort us on the ground. I use the term “Safety” loosely because they barely glanced at us and I have a feeling we could have set ourselves on fire and they wouldn’t have noticed. Nonetheless, I ran around them, up a flight of stairs and across the terminal and found that my flight had already taken off for Greenville with my luggage, potentially. SIGH…
I was then directed to go to “Customer Service” to re-book the flight. I use the term “Service” loosely as well because they were too busy arguing with O’Hare officials to blame them so that O’Hare would pay for my hotel room instead of United. It was finally decided that United was to blame and they put me up at the Wyndham O’Hare for the night. When I asked about my luggage they weren’t “sure” where it was. (If they don’t know where it is, then who in heaven’s name does?!) I was then directed the opposite way I had come to catch a shuttle to the Wyndham. On my way out of O’Hare, I had the foresight to stop at a store there and buy a travel size deodorant for $6.00 plus tax!!!
I was worried when I arrived at the Wyndham when we drove for almost an hour to get here through a neighborhood I would not normally be in but tried to remain hopeful. The desk clerk barely spoke English but I knew I was in trouble when I asked about a cab ride in the morning to catch my flight (thinking that would be quicker than a shuttle) and he remarked that they didn’t come this way often (Translation—they will be shot and killed if they did).
I headed up to my room and found potential knife holes in my lamp shades and some black substance in the bottom of the bath tub. Since blood dries brown, I wasn’t sure what it was except potentially where the chainsaw touched the enamel while they cut up the bodies in the tub. Needless to say, I will not be taking a bath or shower in this tub. I’m afraid for my feet to touch the carpet while wearing boots.
Next I began (like a shipwreck victim) to take stock of my supplies. No luggage—Check. Knife holes in the lampshades—Check. God knows what in the bathtub—check. Drunken, noisy neighbors—check. I also have a laptop, a camera, a blackberry, cords to hook it into the internet—check. $6.00 Deodorant—check. The clothes I am wearing—Check. A first aid kit with bandages (in case I change my mind about slashing my wrists), t-shirts I bought for the girls, painkillers, sunglasses (those will come in handy since it is dark out), a toothbrush and toothpaste (thank God!), mints, tissues, make-up, a hair brush, a shot glass I bought for Ben (wish I had something to put in it!), a Shout clothing wipe, a magnet from Indianapolis, a Strawberry Special K Bar (that looks like someone sat on it—twice) and Carrie Fisher’s new book Wishful Drinking—Check. All in all, I am feeling some better and bravely or crazily head down the hall to the vending area where I have to pay for some ice(!) and a Sierra Mist to swallow the pills with and notice a sign on the vending machine that states “Tipping the machine will not dispense free drinks.” Seriously? Is this and issue here?
Then I realize that “Oh how the mighty have fallen.” I went from the beautiful Palmer House of Downtown Chicago to the Ghetto Wyndham in just a matter of days. And if I die here, please, as my friends, swear that you will sue United, O’Hare and Wyndham for my family. Hopefully, I will find my luggage and return to Greenville. Someday.
Signed, Lost in the Ghetto - (Michelle)
