The Simple Life

I want the simple life. I am burning the candle at both ends and I long to stop before the flames meet in the middle and finding nothing else to burn, extinguish themselves. And so today is the first day of my simple life.

As of today, I am no longer a manager. I hired my replacement and she is in training but the time seemed good for me to step down and allow her to step up. I am now her employee and it feels, well, weird.

A staff member asked my permission for overtime today and I sent her to the new manager. I’ve not done that in a long time and I’m sure it will take more time for me to get used to doing but for my own mental and physical health, I plan on sending all requests to her.

So, I take a deep breath and find I feel confused but relieved. Let someone else worry about the budget while I happily plug along with my workload more than halved. My chest doesn’t feel as tight, the seemingly permanent lines on my forehead relax somewhat and I practice breathing in and out.

Now is the time for me to concentrate on, gasp, me --to heal myself physically, emotionally and spiritually as much as humanly possible. To learn to just be still and relax. I’ve no doubt that this will take some time for me to get off this merry-go-round I have been riding but for my own sanity I must try to simplify.

During this Thanksgiving season, I am thankful for all my blessings. All the blessings that God has graciously granted to me in the past and all that I know He will bless me with in the future. I am thankful for my family and friends, for each day I can get up and go to work, and for each day that I cannot get out of bed and walk. For those days of darkness are still blessings that I am still alive and blessings of learning opportunities – especially learning patience with myself.

I am thankful that I have, although belatedly, finally realized that I can slow down and it is okay. So I’m working towards the simple life and I’ve taken a pretty major step in that direction. I still have a long way to go with organizing the rest of my life in a simplified manner but I believe that I can get there now that some of the weight has been lifted off of my shoulders.

I am thankful for the simple life I dream of living.

The Game of Life

The night is cold and the wind is blowing so hard that the windows rattle in their frames. As a result the girls are staying in tonight and brought out the board game "Life" to pass the time. If only life was so easy to live as the spin of a dial and a cardboard colored board slots with life choices on it.

Those choices, do you want to be married, have kids, college, career? are so difficult and confusing even to this well-seasoned veteran of life. I'm 43 years old and I'm facing a new year with a multitude of life changes. How to choose? If only there was a dial I could spin that would tell me which direction to go.

I watched my grandmother this weekend at her 90th birthday party and considered all the life choices and changes she has seen and survived. I looked around the room full of my family and considered all the paths, perils and pitfalls they have faced individually and together. And I find myself looking for the wheel to spin.

Unfortunately, there is no wheel to spin and the choices I make this year affect myself and my family. I have to choose carefully and not let the "what might have beens" and the "what ifs" paralyze me. What path will I take this year? I don't know yet but am thankful I still have a chance to choose my own wheel to spin.