Friday, May 29, 2009

A New Word...




The dictionary can explain what fibromyalgia is but my body explains it better. Pain and fatigue, fatigue and pain. Sometimes in the arms and shoulders, sometimes the knee and leg. Sometimes both.

After years of weird and seemingly unrelated symptoms, a diagnosis is made. My stress level has exacerbated it but not caused it. No one knows what causes it. There is no cure but it can be managed the doctor says. So now, I try to figure out how.

The medications make me groggy. Not fond of that. Yesterday the medication had me lying on the kitchen floor. I insisted to my husband, Ben, that I was simply trying to make sure it was clean enough but I couldn’t joke my way out of that one. The world went black when I stood. So I only take them at night when I can sleep and simply “muscle through” my day.

It’s a strange feeling when your body fails you. But I’m one of the lucky ones. It could have lupus or MS or any number of other things. I’ll take this new word and I’ll research it. And I’ll learn all I can and make it part of my own vocabulary and lifestyle. I’m 42 and I have a lot more to do. Fibromyalgia may be one of the words that defines me, but it is not the only one. It’s just a new one.